10 steps to get a “surprise” beach vacation from your man

Need a vacation? Need some sun, sand and surf? Is your man not picking up the hint? Here are 10 steps to help you along…

1. Buy a bottle of sun tan lotion and put a little on your wrists everyday (like perfume) and keep smelling it. When your man asks about it: Say the smell just calms you down. 2. Begin to frequently “zone out” for example: stare into space and bump into walls and chairs. When your man asks about it: Keep staring straight ahead and mumble “Then I have to do this, then I have to go there, and then I have to tell them this…” 3. Wake up in the middle of the night and pretend to be sleepwalking. Take out a suitcase and start throwing in vacation wear. When your man “wakes you up”:  look completely lost and go back to bed. 4. Go through albums and pick out your best (and sexiest) vacation pictures. Replace pictures in all frames around the house and even put a few up on the fridge. When your man asks about it: Just tell him it was time to replace the pictures and you thought you looked happy in those ones. 5. Buy a string bikini and try it on when he’s around and say “When would I ever wear this? I should return it….” 6. Buy one of those CD’s with sounds of the ocean and play it all the time. When your man asks about it: Say it soothes you. 7. Start walking around with a conch shell all the time. Randomly smell it and put it against your ear. When your man asks about it: Say it gives you strength. 8. Take to clapping every time you see a palm or coconut tree. When your man asks about it: Just say “I’m just so happy to see them”. 9. Start making “whooshing” noises that sound like waves. When your man asks about it: Just look at him puzzled and say you don’t know what he’s talking about. 10. And finally if he still hasn’t gotten the hint: pack a bag, keep it in the corner of your room and stroke it lovingly from time to time. When your man asks about it: Just say “oh this? This gives me hope of what might be…” Good luck ladies!